How to change people

Self-concept has many definitions but they all have the same meaning, which is, your perception of yourself and of your abilities. When I ask you to describe yourself in one page, you will dump all you think about yourself. The way you view your capabilities is called "Self-concept".
Examples of Self concept could be:
“I am a sociable person”
“I can solve any problem”
“I am fat”
“I am unattractive”
“I am clumsy”
“I am uncontrollable”
The most dangerous thing about having a distorted self-concept is that your subconscious mind always works to fulfill yourself concept. For example, if you see yourself as an unattractive person then you won’t try to be attractive. This self-concept may hinder you from trying to follow a healthy diet, make you buy unattractive clothes and even force you to act in an unattractive way!!
Trying to become attractive without changing your self-concept will never work. You will feel that there is something artificial in your behavior. If you want to change something about yourself then you have to understand that you must begin by changing your self-concept.
If your self-concept is that you are clumsy, you will always act accordingly to that even if you try your best to conceal that side of you. The self-concept is stored in the subconscious mind. The harder you try to do something that doesn’t match with your self-concept, the more you will find your attempts useless.
A salesperson who has a self-concept of being a failure will always fail to meet his target. A guy who has a self-concept of lacking confidence will always act without confidence even if he tries hard. The athlete with a self-concept of not having the ability to win the gold medal will never get it.
To summarize this, it's almost impossible to challenge your self-concept and that’s why you should try to change it instead of challenging it.
Suppose that someone has a self-concept of being persistent, how do you think this will impact his behavior? This person will keep trying to reach his goals even if he failed hundreds of times. On the other hand, if his self-concept was that he was a victim, he would have given up after the first try!!!
So it's all about the self-concept. Having a self-concept of being motivated will result in making you motivated, and having a self-concept of being successful will result in making you successful.
When you upgrade your self-concept, your subconscious mind will change everything accordingly in order to fulfill that self-concept, so just change your self-concept and let your subconscious mind do the adjustments.
You are what you think. So if you want to change something about yourself start by changing your self-concept first and then you will find the change happening effortlessly.
So what does all this have to do with relationships? One of the biggest mistake people make in a relationship is trying to change someone by convincing them that they’re bad. For example, telling your husband that he is irresponsible and that he is in a deep need to become responsible will only result in changing his self concept to being an irresponsible person.
A man who keeps telling his son “you’re stupid! You need to study more” will help his son to develop a self concept of being less intelligent than other people. The correct way to change a person is not by tell them that they’re bad and need to become good but rather by telling them that they are better than their current behavior
If this man told his son that he is a very smart and that these grades do not belong to someone with mental abilities like his, then the son will try to match the self concept his father formed.
If you want to convince your partner to stop smoking then the first thing you should do is to convince him/her that he/she is not a smoker but is rather someone who smokes. Tell your partner that he/she doesn’t belong to this category of unhealthy people and that they are much better than the behavior they are doing and you will notice the change that will happen to them.
If you want to change someone, upgrade his/her self concept first then help them stick to their new self concept.

Reasons and Ways to stop SMOKING

Although smoking is a difficult addiction to kick it is an addiction that can be kicked and beating this addiction should be your number one priority in life. The effect of smoking on health can result in cancer, heart disease and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease all of which dramatically shorten a person's life span and result in one in two life long smokers dying of a smoking related disease. Do you really need any more reasons to stop smoking cigarettes.

Smoking also affects the health of those who breathe in your cigarette smoke. Second-hand smoke can lead to bronchitis and pneumonia in young children and those teenagers with parents who smoke are twice as likely to start smoking themselves. One of the best examples you can set for a child is to give up smoking yourself.

If you are thinking about stopping smoking then it is best to start with a strong set of reasons for stopping smoking which will keep you motivated and help you remain a non-smoker even when times are tough.

You also will need to decide on the method you will use to stop smoking. Some smokers will stop smoking cold turkey, others attempt to cut down gradually on the number of cigarettes they smoke each day hoping to eventually reach zero, but there are plenty of ways to quit.

Nicotine replacement therapy is one of the most popular quit smoking aids around with the nicotine patch, gum, inhaler and spray to choose from. These products supply you with a dose of nicotine via a different method to smoking and are intended to reduce cravings and withdrawal symptoms.

These products are however not quit smoking cures and although they may work for one smoker they may not work for another. Nicotine replacement therapy products also have side effects and if you suffer from a heart condition or if you are pregnant or breastfeeding then you should check with your doctor before using the patch, gum, inhaler or spray.

If you have tried nicotine replacement therapy only to find it ineffective then maybe hypnotherapy or laser therapy could help you stop smoking. These method although more expensive have helped many smokers stop smoking and if either works for you then it will be money well spent.

Finally get all the help and support you can from friends and family. Cigarette are extremely difficult to give up and the more support you have when you give up smoking and when you go through withdrawal symptoms the greater you're chance of remaining a non-smoker.

Nutrition for Adolescence

Dr.Shikha Sharma Nutri-Health Systems, Balanced diet,wellness,weight loss,diet plan,health,fitness,weight gain,nutrition
Adolescence is a transitional stage of physical and mental human development that occurs between childhood and adulthood. There are many physical, mental and emotional changes that occur at this age. These changes are very rapid and occur due to the hormonal changes in the body. The important physical changes that occur in the body are the development of the brain, bone growth and mineralization, weight changes, maturation of the cardiovascular system and lungs, and an increase in endurance and strength (more pronounced in boys). For this diet and that too a balanced diet plays an important role. But the question arises what type of balanced diet should be taken by a teenager?
It is the age at which a teenager can include each color of spectrum in his diet. Basically the future health of a person depends on the diet at adolescence. Therefore a healthy and well-balanced diet is very important at this age. This diet is not only important for healthy body but it is also important for the development of the brain. The diet which is important for overall development is the spectrum diet. What is that? Let’s discuss:
The spectrum diet is that colorful diet which is rich in fruits, vegetables, cereals, pulses and other nutritious food which help in over all development. The spectrum contains violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange and green color. So the foods which a teenager should include in the diet are-
Violet/ Indigo/Purple /Blue- Blueberries or blackberries both provide not only nutrition but beneficial antioxidants as well. These antioxidants are known to be a protective agent against several different diseases like heart disease, cancer and even eye diseases. Eggplant, fig, turnip, onion and grapes all are good, colorful foods to try. Figs are excellent sources of fiber and potassium. These foods contain nutrients which include lutein, zeaxanthin, resveratrol, vitamin C, fiber, flavonoids, ellagic acid, and quercetin. These nutrients support retinal health, boost immune system activity, support healthy digestion, improve calcium and other mineral absorption, fight inflammation.
Green- Green vegetables contain chlorophyll, fiber, lutein, zeaxanthin, calcium, folate, vitamin C, calcium, and Beta-carotene. The nutrients found in these vegetables lower blood pressure and LDL cholesterol levels, normalize digestion time, support retinal health and vision, fight harmful free-radicals, and boost immune system activity. These include all green leafy vegetables, beans, broccoli, cucumber, green apple, grapes, green pepper, kiwi, peas, watercress, moong dal, and moth.
Yellow and orange- These foods contain beta-carotene, zeaxanthin, flavonoids, lycopene, potassium, and vitamin C. These nutrients reduce age-related macular degeneration and the risk of prostate cancer, lower LDL cholesterol and blood pressure, promote collagen formation and healthy joints, fight harmful free radicals, encourage alkaline balance, and work with magnesium and calcium to build healthy bones. Yellow colored foods includes lemon, mangoes, papaya, banana, carrot, arhar dal, chana dal, corn, oranges, peaches, pumpkin, yellow pepper.
Red- Red colored foods contains nutrients such as lycopene, ellagic acid, quercetin, to name a few. These nutrients reduce the risk of prostate cancer, lower blood pressure, reduce tumor growth and LDL cholesterol levels, harmful free-radicals, and support joint tissue in arthritis cases. These include beet, cherries, pomegranate, radishes, carrot, apple, amaranth, onion, tomato and pink masoor dal.
After knowing the ingredienst of teenage diet, it is important to know how much quantity or in which manner it should be taken. For this we divide the whole meal pattern in five parts, in which two big meals, which include morning breakfast and lunch. One medium meal i.e. dinner and two mini meals i.e. mid morning and evening tea. The diet should be well balanced means that it contains a proper quantity of carbohydrate, protein, fat, vitamins and minerals. The diet should contains three serving of fruits, two glasses of milk, one serving of green leafy vegetable, two serving of dal and two serving of any other vegetable in a whole day.
Tips during Exams
Iron and B vitamins are especially important to maintain the physical and mental energy necessary to study well. Therefore include cereals, spinach, kidney beans, whole-grains, wheat germ, eggs and nuts in your diet.
• Avoid processed and junk foods.
• Fish and soy are other foods that are said to help boost your brain by providing the nutrients it needs.
• Dietary supplements are good, but real food is better.
• Eating regular meals helps keep nutrient and energy levels more stable.
• Not all vegetables are created equal. The darker the color, the higher the concentration of nutrients.
• While you have non-veg products, avoid foods that build up body fats.
• Vitamins are essential for memory and keep you relaxed.
• Keep tea and coffee to minimum-1 or 2 cups a day.
• Small meals at regular intervals are not a bad idea.
• Fruits maintain the sugar levels needed by a body through their natural sugar content.
• Water, juices and soups at regular intervals during the day are good.
• Take a small walk around your house or compound, to help your body digest food properly and fast.
• Do not sit down to study immediately after eating as it might make you sleepy and sluggish.
• If you are a heavy eater, make sure you exercise daily and then sit to study, in order to refrain from putting on excess weight, and to remain awake during study.
Tips for Teenagers involved in sport
Adequate and appropriate nutriton is important for the health and performance of young athletes. exercise involves the repeated breaking down of tissue and then rebuilding it "better" than it had been previously. Eating the right amount of the right food is imperative to this rebuilding process.
• Avoid FAD diets.
• Avoid processed or enriched foods
• Eat foods of a variety of colors each day. The different colors of foods indicate they contain different nutrients.
• A well balanced diet for young athletes should primarily be carbohydrates for energy.
• Choose nutrient dense carbohydrates such as whole grains, pasta, fruits and vegetables and avoid energy dense carbohydrates such as candy, cookies and foods with added sugar, fructose, etc.
• Include a moderate amount of proteins as children and athletes need a greater amount of proteins than adults and non-athletes to assist in the rebuilding of tissue.
A well balanced diet for young athletes should primarily be carbohydrates for energy.
• Food preparation is important to maintain nutrients so you should minimize the amount of fried foods in your diet. Steam food rather than boil it.
• Pre-game meals should be eaten 3 - 4 hours before the start of competition.
• Avoid caffeinated and carbonated beverages that will cause dehydration.
• Also avoid sugary foods that will cause a spike

Suggestions on What to Talk to a Girl About for the First Time

Approaching a girl for the first time might give you some difficulties on what to talk to a girl about since you barely know anything about her. Unless you have done a background check with the girl that has taken your fancy, thinking up of an interesting topic can be very hard. A tip to keep in mind in such situations is to never pressure your self. These things take time and patience is one virtue that you should nurture. Do not pressure the girl as well. This might be a reason for her to get away from you despite your good intentions. Be sweet, kind, and complement her once in a while. Here are a few more tips.
For starters, allow both of you to feel at ease with each other first. Clear out the air of awkwardness first and let the girl how you exactly feel as of the moment. This is also one of the many important first date tips to live by. The way you fidget with the strap of your bar because your hands are shaking is rather obvious to the girl; you might as well just tell her that you are nervous. You might as well just tell her so. Open up the talk with a something that both of you can relate to. Come up with questions to ask a girl such as how she finds your new professor and his class or her opinions about your boss.
Another way to break the ice is to tell her funny stories and make her laugh. She will be very comfortable with a person who has a good sense of humor. However, do not try too hard with those funny topics to talk about with a girl. You might brand you as someone who is desperate and cheesy in a negative kind of way. Inject jokes into your conversation where you deem it appropriate. If a certain topic that you are talking about would not need to have a joke inserted in it; you are better off not saying one.
Another one of the good topics to talk about the girl is your date. If you are just talking with her for the very first time, ask if she has a boyfriend. You might shake things up once her boyfriends finds out that his girlfriend is out talking with another guy. If she says that she already has one, properly close your conversation and thank her for her time in talking with you. If you chance upon bumping into her boyfriend while the two of you are talking, greet him and properly introduce yourself. After a few exchanges of lines, properly say your goodbyes and walk away casually.
The most appropriate thing to do next with regards to what to talk to a girl about is your current situation. Now that you have made the necessary introductions and have know some bits and pieces about her. Delve into more topics and questions to get to know her better. Ask her what course she is taking, or what year she is in. Also give your answer to your own question. Go along with the flow of your conversation and branch off to other topics. Do this so that the entire conversation does not seem forced and awkward.
Most importantly, act all natural and yourself as you talk and interact with her. Ask questions but never bombard her with them. Let her know that you hold the sincerest and best intentions and give some time to ease out and be comfortable. Make sure that you choose the right topics on what to talk with a girl about and wait out the results

Important Breakup Tips

Whether your breakup just happened or if you've been separated for some time now, you can learn how to get your girlfriend back quick no matter why you broke up using a few simple, proven strategies. I don’t mean to make break ups sound simple or insignificant… On the contrary, breakups are usually tough and very difficult to overcome.
You can greatly improve your chances to win back your ex girlfriend with these tips:
• The first step to getting back your ex girlfriend is to agree with the break up. This may sound crazy, but by suggesting that some time apart was a good idea for you both to breathe can lift a lot of pressure from you both. Not only that, (I’m assuming here) this is going to mark the first agreement between you and your ex girlfriend in quite some time. This is how to win back your girlfriend, by agreeing on things she will begin to see you in a more positive light.
• The next step to win back your ex girlfriend is by open the lines of communication between the two of you. Now, if you are on speaking terms still, this step is still important and can greatly help you succeed in getting back your ex girlfriend… A handwritten letter to your ex will be both personal and powerful. It doesn’t need to be a book, keep it short and simple; use your own personality. Just tell her that you agree with the breakup. Let her know you are doing great (even if you aren’t). Tell her something positive that is going on in your life (something she can relate to). Ask her how she is doing and follow by saying something like, “I hope one day we can be friends again.”
Your goal at this point should not be to jump right back into a dating relationship with your ex. If you truly want to win back your ex girlfriend and keep her, then you are going to need to take it slow. Otherwise, you are looking at more heartbreak and breakups in the future.
• It is VERY IMPORTANT that you don’t ask for her back! At least not right away if you really want to know how to get your girlfriend back quick, take baby steps. Relationships are fragile and rushing things will lead to disaster. If you play your cards right, she will be asking you to go hang out or to have dinner with her and some friends before you know it.
• The most important thing to remember about how to win back your girlfriend is that you want to make sure everything she sees and hears about you is positive. When she thinks of you, you want her to smile. Think about how it felt to have her in your arms. To her, being in your arms probably felt even better… So, be yourself… Don’t bring up the past or any of the negative things that may have been said. Focus on the future now and your future with your girl will be a positive one. In fact, rather than focusing on how to get your girlfriend back quick, start thinking about how you can make her come running back to you.